do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
