Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
