So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
