If that was your dad, he is hot
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
lets start a swedish sibling band together
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
