That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
