So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A+ Viking dick
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
