Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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