if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
