I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
