Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
