K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
