never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
