I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
