There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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