my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
