we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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