We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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