the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
