You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
