just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
