Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize