i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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