I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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