Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
