I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize