Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
