Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
