used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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