your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
