In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
