today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
