My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
