he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
