She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
