Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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