I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
