I feel like I'm in dance class right now
thus making me awesome and them whores
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
