dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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