I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
