This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
