well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
