so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
