I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
