wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Small penises have feelings too.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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