Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
