You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
