I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
