I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
