It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
