If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize