I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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