omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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