come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
