I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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