Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
