Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
