smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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