I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I could fuck to npr.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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