Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
